why i don't wear the most "flattering" clothes

i think we can all agree here that i have an obsession with fashion…and really clothes in general. okay fine, it’s more of an addiction but let’s not put labels on things shall we? my love of clothing breaks down to an appreciation for craftsmanship, design, and overall style and i will wear anything that i feel is fabulous! while i may love all of the components of this love, those things sometimes don’t match up with my body type and as much as i would love to be a six-foot tall glamazon model that looks good in everything with legs for days, i’m not and nor will i ever be. i don’t want to turn this post into an obnoxiously body-positive one, but to cut to the chase, i’ve accepted myself for me and i’ve stopped trying to fight my own body to be something it’s not. the ever so chic grace atwood recently mentioned the idea of clothes being “flattering” in a post and it really resonated with me. grace is currently participating in a size inclusivity challenge to shed light on the difficulties of shopping if you’re larger than a size 12 and she shared that in her challenge, she is straying away from using the term “flattering” to describe her clothes: simply because it subtly states that when we say a piece is flattering, it translates to “you look smaller” and that “smaller is better.” when that’s not the case.

i had an “oh shit” moment. she was right! i had a minute of self-reflection and i realized that i don’t always feel my best in my most “flattering” clothes. yes, i can’t go wrong with a fit and flare dress that accentuates my waist (because 9 times out of 10 i do feel fabulous in it) but sometimes i really want to wear an oversized coat that has a giant flower around the neck with a striped wide leg jumpsuit…because i freaking can! and yeah, this outfit doesn’t make me look smaller or skinner but it is without a doubt fabulous. i even revisited some of my past outfits where flattering silhouettes came secondary to the design. dana calls this outfit my sequin tent, this dress was a lewwwk, and this jumpsuit had me confused with a mechanic (other honorable mentions were here, here, and here). what all of these looks have in common was that while they weren’t the most “flattering” but i still absolutely loved (and still love) them!

to me what sells an outfit is confidence. i think we’ve all seen someone on the street or at a party and had that “oh i love that outfit but i couldn’t pull that off” feeling and we really need to start getting those thoughts out of our heads! it frustrates me to no end that when i go shopping with a friend or family member and they don’t see the fabulousness, or craftsmanship, or style of a piece because it isn’t “flattering.” so i’m going to say something now that’s going to infuriate my mother but it needs to be said. fuck “flattering” and just make it fabulous.

coat: marc jacobs
jumpsuit: j.crew
shoes: kate spade
bag: mansur gavriel
sunglasses: givenchy

photos by lydia hudgens